metahumer: thug life more like ugh life
shessosumptuous: So homosexuality is a sin but high heeled sneakers aren’t
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Man: Fuck you, slut.
rinthewin: caffenespeaks: the legend This makes me so happy, and yet so sad. He was smart, he was a writer (you could tell by his phrasing) and this is something he TRULY cares about. That boy has a heart and he cares. He sees the truth for what it is and he refuses to sit idly and watch as the youth of america just stumbles by. BUT the teacher was done. She didn’t care. She was fed up. ...
hatelyn: if you put your wrists under cold water from your sink for like 15 seconds it starts to hurt and I just thought I would share because this could be an alternative to cutting you know because the pain from the water only lasts a couple minutes and it doesn’t do any permanent damage like cutting does
mnastynastynasty: oh my god i can’t get over this Is he promoting stupidity or something?
nannajane: in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me
teacher: where's your homework
me: where's leonardo dicaprio's oscar
Me: Do you want any help mom?
Mom: No thanks sweetie.
*5 minutes later*
Mom: HONEST TO GOD IT'S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE. IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK I'D COME BACK AND YOU'D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES. HONESTLY I DO SO MUCH AND I'M NOT EVEN VALUED DO YOU EVEN CARE? NO YOU DON’T.
Being a good writer is 3% talent and 97% not being distracted by the internet.– (via worldinink) — the writer reblogs, being distracted by the internet (via cameralinz)
noonereadstheurl: I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps
meladoodle: *prosecuting lawyer voice* i have only one question for the defendant… ‘guiltypersonsayswhat?’ “what?” haha owned you’re going to jail
turnc0at: turnc0at: turnc0at: turnc0at: GUESS WHO GOT SOME APPLE FLAVOURED SHAMPOO WAIT NO I MEANT SCENTED DON’T WORRY IT TASTES LIKE APPLES TOO i just threw up
my brother just sat my mum down in the living room and started crying and she was getting really worried and he burst out with ‘I’M PREGNANT’ completely seriously, and my mum started yelling and was like ‘OH MY GOD, what the fuck, I raised you to be responsible’ and she was literally ranting for about 10 minutes until she realised and quietly walked out of the room
kawaii-aussie: basically tumblr is like our father and we’re all his children and he is about to get married to yahoo who is a massive bitch and will probably ruin our lives and we’re like no dad stop and we’re all crying very loudly because we dont want yahoo to be our new mum because she is a monster who will probably kill dad when he becomes useless and take all his money that he left to us...
leviathans-in-the-tardis: howling-lights: howling-lights: leviathans-in-the-tardis: sometimes i get mad at australian stereotypes but then i remember that my backyard looks like this IM FREAKING OUT THIS IS MY BACKYARD HOW DID YOU GET THIS PICTURE?????? never mind i just found my brother’s blog by accident uGHHHH YOU FREAK GO AWAY
infauna: being the unattractive friend is not easy i don’t think we get enough credit
tardis-stole-my-mind: savingpeopleeatingpie: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: lilylunastardust: do-you-have-a-flag: okaylove: I never knew Javert went to Beauxbatons. Well, he is French. NOW THE SINGING MAKES SENSE I don’t regret anything. THANK YOU, IT IS PERFECT